Friday, December 16, 2011

Suspicions confirmed. We have a ghost.

So, we all remember the story about the alien shadow that scared the bejeezus out of me a week or two ago. I was perfectly willing to accept that a serial killer was creeping through our front yard. About a week after that event, S woke in the middle of the night to the sound of a light knocking on the front door, but when he looked out the window, no one was there. Again, willing to accept the serial killer possibility.

The events of last night and earlier today, however, have convinced me otherwise.  Allow me to take you back.

It was a mere 3am, all was dark and quiet. S and I were cuddled under the heater blanket with Sir Whisky passed out between us. Suddenly, I awoke to a flashing blue light coming from the foyer. In my groggy, way-too-early-morning state of mind, all I could do was lift myself to my elbows and stare through the doorway at the blurry spectacle (note that I wasn't even awake enough to think of putting on my glasses). After a few seconds of staring, I heard the music. It was coming from this guy:

Yes, that's right. Frosty the Snowman.

Now, here's the weird part (yes, it gets weirder). First of all, you can't activate Frosty unless you push that circle on his foot. Second, Frosty hasn't worked in 2 years because I never changed the batteries from the ones that he came with. So. How the hell did he get activated, and how did the batteries suddenly get charged? I got up after the song stopped and did a thorough house check. Not a peep to be heard or a soul to be seen (or a dead soul to be detected...).

The other weird part. Frosty works now (kind of). I'll mention that last year and the year before, I must have pressed his foot a hundred times seeing if he would play, and due to my own laziness chose to simply keep pressing the button rather than find new batteries and swap them out. When I pulled him out of the box this year, I pressed the button a dozen times and still, nothing.

Today, I tried again after his early-morning performance. It took 27 presses of the button, but I finally got this:

Now imagine seeing just that flashing light and tell me you wouldn't immediately think, "Holyshitanalienisattackingmyhouse!!!!"

S and I have two theories.

1) We have a ghost. This would explain the shadow in the woods, the light knocking at the door, and Frosty's sudden return to life. Plus these all happened in the early morning hours, and clearly that's when all the weird shit happens. It would also explain why Sir Whisky feels the need to sit in the middle of the floor and howl like he's being tortured for no good reason at all. For example (this was today, and he did this for a good 10 seconds before I grabbed the camera):

Sorry it's sideways, I didn't have time to adjust. But you get the picture. Oh, and by the way, he's looking in the direction of the foyer and Frosty. If it is a ghost, I can only hope it's an adult with a sense of humor. A friend suggested it was a child ghost, and if that's the case, then holy Hera I have to move. Little kid ghosts scare the crap out of me. The girl from The Ring traumatized me for weeks.

2) The government is doing experiments, and Frosty got caught in the cross-fire. We live somewhat near a government facility, that I will not name or show pictures of should they find out and launch a stealth attack District 12 style. This was S's theory (mine was #1, clearly). He stated that perhaps they were doing something weird with electricity or electromagnetic waves and other stuff with big words, and those waves somehow got zapped straight to Frosty. Normally I'd debunk this crazy science theory, but I can't help but remember back to when our house was struck by lightning, and all the battery-operated games in my brother's closet suddenly came to life. So, this is perhaps plausible, and I like it better than little kid ghosts.

In short, I live in either a haunted house or one that will soon be radioactive.

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